The Daily Turd

Poop In and Out

2010-11-11T21:48:00.000-05:00

by Victor Briestensky

fecal cuteness overload

2010-10-20T10:11:00.002-04:00

cannot even handle this. it goes on and on.

Update Your Social Flatus

2010-07-22T15:12:00.007-04:00

with The Twittering Office Chair

follow the guy's Toots, sorry, Tweets here.

Spaaaace Pooooop

2010-05-17T17:18:00.001-04:00

Load Up Celery Man, Please

2010-05-06T23:28:00.002-04:00

Better Marriage Blanket

2010-05-03T16:02:00.000-04:00

I ain't sayin', I'm just sayin'...

notes from The Management

2010-01-14T16:37:00.003-05:00

aka: your poop is not a gift

decorative explosions

2009-12-28T13:27:00.001-05:00

This isn't very good...

2009-12-03T16:53:00.003-05:00

but you have to give them credit for their thoroughness.
they actually rap the whole movie. I would have gotten bored after the first half hour.

Jimmy Fallon Redeemed?

2009-11-24T16:14:00.001-05:00

Rear Window

2009-11-16T15:04:00.003-05:00

David Wells Deals Foul Fart On Live TV

2009-10-20T12:02:00.000-04:00

Chicken or the egg?

2009-09-22T01:32:00.001-04:00

It's like us, only semi-regular, pseudonyms and all: poopreport.com

A Monument in the Chicago Wild

2009-09-08T12:43:00.006-04:00

(via this guy's photostream)

Mystery Upon Mystery

2009-09-03T11:26:00.004-04:00

My friend was walking through the park near his house the other day when he spotted this little nugget of swaddled gold:

His reaction was thus:

"I am unable to cease wondering about the sequence of events that culminated with this fecal artistry."

Any thoughts?

2009-08-21T12:14:00.000-04:00

2009-07-16T12:27:00.001-04:00

Autotune the News

2009-05-22T11:04:00.002-04:00

I Have a Bad Case of Diarrhea

2009-05-11T16:22:00.001-04:00

via YesButNoButYes

RAP CHOP!

2009-05-02T18:21:00.000-04:00

Fartypants.

2009-04-24T13:34:00.004-04:00

Really, I mean it.

Cabbies.

2009-04-24T10:54:00.003-04:00

Because I have the maturity of an 8th grader, I found this funny. And then, I was reminded that I had taken a pic of my own:

A F*$K, S#%T, STACK

2009-04-23T16:08:00.000-04:00

Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn!!!

2009-04-15T18:23:00.000-04:00

I mean: Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn!!!!

This may be silly, but...

2009-04-07T11:28:00.002-04:00

...I was thinking, what if you could fart the Brown Note?

A bit off topic, but related to the poop chute

2009-04-01T17:40:00.000-04:00

Slide down the poop chute

2009-03-30T16:59:00.002-04:00

Liftoff!

2009-03-30T16:55:00.003-04:00

If you've gotta go, do it with some class

2009-03-30T16:20:00.002-04:00

Sometimes you just have to let that $400 go

2009-03-23T13:50:00.004-04:00

this dog is just another rich jerk. he's all like "your overtime money's nothing to me. I shit that much money every day, son!!! droppin' benjamins on your lawn, sucka!!!"

The Silent Farter

2009-03-19T17:34:00.002-04:00

This chair announces who the gas is from by amplifying the silent fart exhausted.

via Gizmodo

Poop Pizza!!!

2009-03-16T14:18:00.002-04:00

"...And as far as he knows, it's the only delivery pizza in the world that contains probiotics, the bacteria that contributes to intestinal health."

via NotBillable

"Hot Dog & Dog Food Flushing Super Toilet"

2009-03-06T13:41:00.005-05:00

next time I have to shit 20 golf balls I sure hope there's one of these things installed in the bathroom:

"A Survival Horror Game"

2009-03-02T13:03:00.006-05:00

Don't Shit Your Pants

Big game gets all dressed up for dinner

2009-01-29T20:49:00.002-05:00

"Just insert, turn twice, and pull out a 10'' section to cut off"

Oh Crapstone!

2009-01-23T10:25:00.005-05:00

Christine found this one and there's more gems in the article here: LINK
Her passion for journalistic research is one of the reasons why I'm marrying her.

Oh, poop!

2008-12-12T20:39:00.000-05:00

The toilet, she writes, may be the “single biggest variable in increasing human life span."

Butt Bandit!

2008-11-24T10:53:00.001-05:00

Beginning in spring of 2007, a mystery vandal visited businesses at night, pressing his naked behind — sometimes his groin, sometimes both — on windows.

meeeee-owch!

2008-11-18T14:12:00.002-05:00

they're not quite LaserCats, but aparently still pretty deadly. something more like "1 Shot Killer Pussy". I was going to say I really need to see this whole movie now and I hope it's on NetFlix, but actually the one scene is plenty.

This may help when nature calls.

2008-11-13T21:36:00.002-05:00

Don't know if this is old news or not. Just brought to my attention.
Could be helpful...

sit or squat

Google embraces turdicons

2008-11-04T11:44:00.002-05:00

It's worth mentioning that gmail now has emoticons in their email formatting options, one of which being a turdicon, with flies, . . . hold the ketchup.

Art Don't Get Much Finer

2008-10-27T12:36:00.002-04:00

and there's more where that came from
now Brad, if you can fashion this out of cardboard in time for the Halloween party, you win Junior High Costume Prom King.

inspiration by vexation

2008-10-22T12:25:00.002-04:00

or, the soundtrack to incoherence:

Get your search on

2008-10-22T00:32:00.004-04:00

When you've got that special (urgent) feeling on the streets of nyc, . . . diaroogle.com to the rescue.

x-large

2008-10-10T18:46:00.004-04:00

Swiss dogs are huge!

The All Seeing Eye

2008-09-30T10:53:00.000-04:00

Ferrari

2008-09-29T17:45:00.000-04:00

Knitted Ferrari

The Importance of Stating the Obvious

2008-09-18T13:53:00.003-04:00

your new favorite song

2008-09-05T11:42:00.001-04:00

Punch 'Em in the Dick

Chocolate Ice-Cream?

2008-08-20T12:34:00.001-04:00

The Super Catcher

2008-08-04T17:30:00.004-04:00

I know some of you dog owners have been waiting for EVER for an invention like this.
click the image for very thorough instructions and for answers to all of your most urgent questions, such as:

"My dog would drop shit from several turns rather than by single time; if the droppings pouches carried are run out, how should I do at then ?"

Own a Hoverboard

2008-07-29T17:22:00.003-04:00

2008-07-29T17:14:00.000-04:00

Wiping Through History.

2008-07-29T13:13:00.003-04:00

wet wipes have been discussed in this blog before
but it appears we only scraped the surface.
visit the Moist Towelette Online Museum.
I think whoever invented the Star Trek Wipes is pretty much a genius. there's obviously no better way to wipe Klingons off Uranus.

81 Ways

2008-07-28T15:29:00.001-04:00

Dude, TRON version 2.0

2008-07-27T18:12:00.004-04:00

shouldn't they have made this a long time ago? I mean, nobody cares about computers anymore - so 1982...

"Oh, this is a tape about how people make hoes."

2008-07-23T17:03:00.001-04:00

Girl Talk

2008-07-23T11:29:00.004-04:00

Feed the Animals

da FUPA Chalupa

2008-07-21T09:20:00.007-04:00

The Fine Art of Winning a Beef

2008-07-21T07:27:00.002-04:00

I don't really know what the dude from Oasis was thinking when he decided he could start some shit with Jay-Z about headlining the Glastonbury Festival this year.

"Glastonbury has a tradition of guitar music...I'm not having hip-hop at Glastonbury. It's wrong."

to which Jay-Z cool-ly replied, "We don't play guitars, Noel, but hip-hop has put in its work like any other form of music."

but the real rebuttal came when he proceeded to completely trash a cover (simultaneously the worst and best version of the song ever performed) of Oasis's biggest hit, "Wonderwall," as his opener at the festival. then followed it up directly with "99 problems" (...but a bitch like Noel Gallagher ain't one).

check out the video:

deeeez lightly-scented nuuuttzzzz!

2008-07-11T16:57:00.005-04:00

"I tell ya folks, my scrotum has never smelled so good."
-Stanley Runk "Runkdapunk"

sounds like this stuff really works,
just read the reviews.

ps- what the hell are "batwings" in this context? I'm really trying to avoid imagining...

BFF

2008-07-10T17:51:00.001-04:00

Charlie Rose Interviews Charlie Rose

2008-06-17T22:17:00.001-04:00

BREAKIN' ("Egbabonelimwin")

2008-06-05T10:34:00.001-04:00

EGBABONELIMWIN ("breakin'")

2008-06-04T17:00:00.003-04:00

well, these guys only got one move really, but it's a good'n:
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=H1XBdf2IshY

So Much Better Than A Fanny Pack

2008-05-28T17:07:00.000-04:00

GrabIt Pack

It's Gonna Be Hot.

2008-05-27T11:47:00.000-04:00

TV Farts.

2008-05-22T11:52:00.002-04:00

No Country for Gay Men

2008-05-15T14:48:00.001-04:00

No Country For Gay Men from Lawrence Scaduto on Vimeo.

wall-painted animation? that sounds like a lot of work...

2008-05-14T08:41:00.002-04:00

MUTO a wall-painted animation by BLU from blu on Vimeo.

Theme music?

2008-05-07T12:22:00.002-04:00

Tylenol BM

2008-05-06T17:36:00.001-04:00

That's Some Bidet.

2008-05-02T15:51:00.000-04:00

How to win knife fights

2008-04-20T22:05:00.001-04:00

Ultimate Crap-off

2008-04-15T08:38:00.004-04:00

they've got special skillz to pay the billz.

To quote Aaron on this: "Just watched this. Like, uh oh... oh hell no... wait... he's kind of good...(?!)"

Cave Poop.

2008-04-07T14:22:00.000-04:00

Some poop in a cave in Oregon has been dated to more than 14,000 years ago and identified as human, adding to other evidence that humans inhabited the Americas before the well-known Clovis people.

2008-03-26T14:05:00.001-04:00

2008-03-26T14:04:00.001-04:00

Fart

2008-03-26T13:52:00.000-04:00

Sound Board

Tipping Pot

2008-03-12T18:01:00.001-04:00

In this parody of the Guinness Tipping Point ad, a fart sets off a delightful chain reaction.

I Like Clean Butts...

2008-03-06T11:54:00.001-05:00

...and I cannot lie.

What a Wonderful World

2008-03-06T11:52:00.001-05:00

Here.

HOT!!!!!

2008-03-06T00:07:00.004-05:00

Peace out, dawgs

2008-03-05T13:58:00.002-05:00

http://www.poopreport.com/Peace

Huh. Huh.

2008-03-05T13:42:00.002-05:00

He said, "butt."

Squirrel Poop

2008-03-04T15:51:00.001-05:00

Isn't this cute.

2008-02-29T00:10:00.001-05:00

Assquatch.

2008-02-27T15:13:00.001-05:00

Deer ass alien heads are fun and educational activity for the whole family.

Oops.

2008-02-27T10:12:00.001-05:00

I also cut the cheese.

2008-02-26T10:29:00.001-05:00

Gift Idea!

2007-12-03T16:46:00.001-05:00

A great gift for the fecal aficionado in your life:

What Shat That?

up, up, down, down, left, right, B, A, Flush!

2007-11-12T15:55:00.000-05:00

Kind of amazing that someone at Maxim got paid to put this list together.
Why aren't we getting paid to research these things...

the saddest news headline you will read all day

2007-11-05T23:04:00.001-05:00

*sniff*

You want sprinkles on that?

2007-10-17T14:20:00.000-04:00

This might just be the most amazing project/gallery ever.

2007-10-11T16:08:00.000-04:00

This is funny...educational...and kinda gross. Watch out for shooting stars!!!

The Phantom

2007-10-11T11:50:00.000-04:00

Cleaner, Better, and Happier

2007-10-05T11:37:00.000-04:00

"It uses pure, clean water and a bunch of nifty technology to make you cleaner and more refreshed than you've ever felt before."

Washlet makes it all so easy.

The amount of money and time that must have gone into all these 3-d animations is mind-boggling.

Oh, and there are so many quotable lines of copy in this, I am almost tempted, but not quite, to rewatch all the little sections so I can write some down.

Here's one:
"You can select from pulsating, soft cleanse, and oscillating modes, all of which can put you *ding!* into 'happiness mode.'"

And it's nice to know what all these asses' faces look like.

HELLOOOOO!

2007-10-01T10:22:00.000-04:00

this genius little program shows you some disturbing image and then automatically triggers your mac's built-in camera to capture your reaction (only for macs unfortunately).

should have had it installed for that one post from back in May or whenever it was... you guys know which one I'm talking about. I don't want to even describe it.

hello.app

Subtle

2007-09-04T13:57:00.000-04:00

What did this guy eat? Or is it a lady? Very fun!

2007-08-13T12:21:00.000-04:00

Try it! My first score was 92.